While you were fantasizing escape from the deadening drive to work today, I took a walk along the Corniche and discovered reasons 476 to 478 why I need to buy a new phone.
Instead of having to look at this ugly humpback whale of a Nokia 1200 model, which I lovingly refer to as Beatrice Arthur (R.I.P), I could have posted pictures of:
476. A dude sporting a cowboy hat with matching red, white and blue cape. His persona was something like a Lebanese version of this guy.
477. An approximately 70-year-old man rocking a 1980’s boombox to the tune of Kanye West’s “Gold Digger” (Earworm alert! “Now I ain’t sayin she a gold digger… Get down girl, go ’head get down…”)
478. A tranny taking a powerwalk in 6-inch black stiletto heels. No lie.
Need I say it: Why spend money on an overrated summer blockbuster when you can watch people on the Corniche for free?
And let’s be honest, Lebanese crazies characters don’t just hang around the Corniche, so send us your summer in Lebanon sightings to firstname.lastname@example.org.
Remember: This blog is never too shameless for shameless plugs. Pictures of your teita making tabbouleh are welcome.
But, priority goes to the reader who delivers a photo of one of those uber-cool Beirutis behind the wheel of an oversized ATV. Nothing says concrete kitsch like a sport utility vehicle engineered for the Virginia Mountains barreling down Hamra Street. Oh excess, I can smell you from the top of Sky Bar.