The Dangers of Underage Drinking

Underage-Drinking-blog

What?
WAT????????????????

The Tourism Ministry announced on Wednesday that it penalized four bars by shutting them down for a week because the establishments allowed minors under the age of 18 inside.

The ministry said it had issued several warnings to the bar owners before installing the week-long closures.

Now, can someone please explain to me how the Tourism Ministry is responsible for enforcing underage drinking laws? Shouldn’t the Interior Ministry be responsible for watering-hole management?

Regardless, I see the new measures as a huge disappointment, mostly because it’s going to take away from one of my favorite pastimes: mercilessly mocking young people. Watching a group of 14-year-olds guzzle down a couple of beers only to be dragged out by their feet from the bathroom floor 30 minutes later is what I consider authentic amusement for the casual specator.

And really, legislating puritanical and invasive alcohol policies should hardly be considered a priority in a country where you don’t even have to take a road test to get your driver’s license – you can just buy it.

But whatevs, more booze for me I guess.

Now, being an alcoholic myself, I am well aware of the dangers of excessive liquor consumption. So are the team of guys who work at the Starbucks in Sassine, where I occasionally stop off in the morning because I can’t make it to the office fast enough to barf out the entire contents of my stomach. As one study claims, alcohol is more dangerous than heroin and crack.

BELIEVE.

Still, parents, if you’re suspicious that your kids might be using drugs, I urge you to watch this helpful instructional video that points out some sure-fire warning signs your teens have hit rock bottom: runny noses, dressing like Madonna and a music playlist that includes the Heavy Metal genre. Yeah.

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